AugustCon 2020

Following on the universe-reverberating success of July’s AugustCon 2019, a date has been set for AugustCon 2020: July 7-8.

Just days after the inaugural event in 2019, Nick August, the Hermes Trismegistus of Northeast Georgia, promised that the 2020 event will be even more overwhelming than 2019:

“I promise that the 2020 event will be even more overwhelming than 2019.” — Nick August

August also offered some teasers for workshops and activities that will be featured at the 2020 event:

  • How to turn the shower handle to Cold
  • How to setup a WordPress account
  • The magic of selling things for XXX.X7 on Shopify (works for all eCommerce platforms)
  • The Dos and Don’ts of Dinner and Dancing
  • Romancing your lady and avoiding degeneracy by stirring your soup, properly, with your beautiful 59-year-old girlfriend’s hairsticks, at the metaphysical level
  • Gaming Granny: Approaching women in menopause
  • Good vibes: How to become your woman’s vibrator
  • Strategies for cleaning your room: clockwise, counterclockwise, middle-out?
  • How to avoid nutting while washing your dick in November
  • Flowers mean “I love you”
  • Pushups, Dammit

Comments from AugustCon supporters:

“Proper dance instruction, lumbersexual grooming tips, avoiding degeneracy…this event has it all!” — Nick, Georgia

“I thought this shit was in August. Drove all that way and missed the whole thing! What the fuck? But Nick is awesome and knows what he’s doing. Looking forward to next year!” — Oliver, North Dakota

“Mind? Blown! Spirit? Renewed! Southeastern United States? Saved!” — Nick, Georgia

“How can one amazing fucking dude be so fuckingly amazingly talented. Amazeballs!” –Nick, Georgia

“I got lost somewhere in North Georgia on a canoe trip with some friends who were raped and killed by murderous hillbillies. I was traumatized and lost my compound bow. ” — Trent, Maryland

“It’s like the fucking universe’s firehose blasting metaphysical cum on your spiritual tits!” — Nick, Georgia

Tickets go on sale January 1.

 

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