I don’t mind admitting to you fellows the serious mistake I made talking an online thot into reading “A Hunger Artist” by Franz Kafka.
If only I had let well enough alone!
“What is this? I’m not bulimic or anything,” her message began. “Did you buy my latest set of photos? The bathtub scenes?”
I explained it’s about a figurative person, a made up person, who actually entertained spectators by not eating.
“She does cam shows?” asked the lovely thot.
I assured her that was not the case.
So she–and did I mention her name, Elodia? Elodia said if I sent her $373.77, she would send me ten pictures of her reading the story in the nude.
I don’t mind saying, boys: I took it!
It began to occur to me that something might be wrong when several days passed and I never received a message from her containing a payment link for the promised photos of her reading Kafka in the nude.
Then, one morning in early winter, I turned off the alarm upon waking and saw that I had a new message waiting. It was from her, my Elodia.
I opened it excitedly hoping to see the teaser photo she always included with a payment link, her posing nude but with dollar signs partially covering the less quotidian–shall we say, gents–parts of her slim figure. Such coquetry was not lost on me, however. I enjoyed our game despite being sad on occasion that I would never gaze upon her natural beauty unadorned with ink and metal.
But, enough hesitation! I clicked upon the message only to become totally surprised and not a little disoriented by the lack of either a photo or payment link. Instead, only these words:
Deer george yr story was amazeballs and no joke on fleek and no joke i caught some feelz for this dude all cageing himself up like that, like who fuckin does that right????? Woke me up for realz anyway thought you should know I’m done stay good xoxoxoxox
As you fellows might imagine this is neither what i wanted nor expected. While her Instagram remains, it is now utterly devoid of the artful boudoir photography that once defined her online presence.
Never peddle philosophy to Instagram models, friends. Nothing good will come of it!